A Woman Alone

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Sleep. Sleep.


I change my strategy all the time, trying to figure out what will work best.

After days of feeling like crap and getting up even tho I didn't feel like it, today I slept until I was done and I feel better than I have in at least a week. What that's going to mean for tomorrow, I don't know.

I often try to get up, preferably before 10am, because, well, after 10 is too damn late to be sleeping. Besides that, I figure it will help me fall asleep at a more reasonable time the following night.

I've been so tired and feeling so crappy that today I just stayed in bed as long as I wanted to. Didn't get up until after 1pm. Now I feel pretty good for a change.

I don't know what it is, I can't get my body on a schedule of sleeping at night and waking in the morning. Dammit. Well, it was working out ok while I was feeling well for several weeks, but that's passed. Actually, even though I was waking in the mornings, I still hadn't been sleeping well at night. Maybe that's why it CAN'T last- I don't get enough sleep.

WHY CAN'T I SLEEP AT NIGHT??

Last night I fell asleep on the sofa around 9pm! Very early for me. I was so glad when I woke after 10, without doing anything to wake myself, I crawled into bed. By 11:30 I was up again and stayed up until after 4am. Couldn't even keep laying in the bed.

On another note, I am always sort of daydreaming about the life I wish I had, I'd like to be living. It feels like it's just barely beyond my reach.

A Woman Alone
Monday, Aug. 02, 2004
2:35 p.m.




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