I really really hate the games people play. I don't know where that comes from, but I feel strongly about it. I have no desire to change, to learn to play, to accept bullshit from others. I will just hope to meet like-minded people and have them in my life. One of my family lines is having a get together this year. They are trying to get all of the line that they can, from all over the country. I had offered to make an MSN group as a way for people to get to know each other, post photos, and have the information about the trip available on a website. I suggested it to the leader/organizer and he approved. I'm not even going to this get together. I have no money for it, and no desire to be around a bunch of strangers. I made the group. Spent time on it, made graphics, etc. I invited people, and got a few members. Today he writes saying he doesn't have time to learn how to access the group and doesn't want his get together information on there. His reasons are:
*Because a file may become corrupted on msn and give out the wrong information. This could mess up someone's trip plans.
*Because some of the family history I have on there is wrong.
Then he blew me off, saying he doesn't have time to write to me again until after his get together. I'd written to the woman he's organizing with (asking about something entirely different) and she said that she was concerned that
*I wasn't respecting people's privacy online, and
*that some of my family history on there is incorrect. OK. cool. I can't tell you all who I am, so I can't show you any of my sites. You'll just have to trust me on this. I TOTALLY RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S PRIVACY! Much more so than the average genealogist you see online. I do not give out other people's names or e-mails or anything else without their permission- ever. I don't send these mega letters with 40 people's e-mails on them- they give out people's e-mail addresses and names to others! I don't put any information about anyone living online without their permission. In my genealogy, there is no information about anyone living, except me. I have my permission. I don't even give out people's names as sources of information without first having their permission. I've talked on here about my family giving out my private information to just anyone they feel like without respecting my wishes that they never do that. It's a big deal to me. I do not do this. I wrote back to this lady pretty much in this vein of how I do respect people's privacy. And further more, since she and her accomplice have given out people's names, states of origin, and e-mails to everybody else on the list, they really have no room to discuss privacy issues with me. I damn sure didn't give them permission to do so. I asked if there were something specific she had seen that concerned her about my site? I thought she was referring to my genealogy site. She hasn't seen the group site- you must be a member to see it and she has not applied for membership. Neither has he. Neither has ever laid eyes on the group site they are talking about! It hadn't occurred to me yet that she was making accusations about a site she refused to even look at. About the accusation of my family history being somewhat incorrect. Uh. THERE IS NO FAMILY HISTORY ON THE GROUP SITE. Thank you. About the pages magically changing their information after they've been posted on the group, and thereby messing up someone's plan: PAGES DON'T MAGICALLY CHANGE AFTER THEY'VE BEEN UPLOADED. And if he's so concerned, he could keep an eye on them by joining the group. So, these are the reasons I was given for this man telling me not to post his get together information on my group site. The site I made in an effort to help him and the other family members, the site he encouraged before I put much time and effort into it. Obviously they are crap. The reasons, they are bullshit. Are these people really so ignorant? Or are they making up shit to cover their real reasons? Why did he approve something then take it back- very rudely without even looking at it. (to me that's the ultimate kicker) How can you accuse me of having faulty information on a site you haven't seen?? Am I really supposed to take that seriously? My long spiel about privacy is undoubtedly why that issue wasn't in his letter of today. I believe the crap about the history is directly from her since she wrote the same thing to me the day before. Privacy also her. Not enough time to learn to sign into a msn group?? Just an excuse that's pretty pitiful. I bet it took more time to write his letter than it would have to sign into the group. I think he doesn't really give a damn, and she's all upset so he's being supportive. I also am positive that these excuses are all bullshit. She may be afraid of privacy issues for real, but is too ignorant to learn about them and would rather deprive everyone else of a group. And lets not forget they themselves gave out everyone's private info without permission. At least not my permission to give out my info. So here I am upset again about people's bullshit games. Remember unhappy genealogy lady? I just don't understand it for one. Why not just be honest?? Why not just say what your problem is with the whole thing? We could certainly talk about it. I am willing to work with these people, I started this to help them! Why take the approach of flinging accusations that are purely stupid?? Rather than taking any responsibility. Like "I am concerned about our information being on a website. I'm afraid crazy people will stalk me or steal my identity." That may have been an honest concern. That could have been rationally discussed and steps taken. But no... Yet this is purely typical human behavior.
My response is almost always to challenge them with their bullshit. I wrote to him and told him why his excuses were lame and full of crap. I confront them with their own lies, just like I did genealogy lady. They never fess up. Never. They never say "I'm sorry, I should have been honest. The real reason is this..." That is a response I could work with.
So I also wonder what it is about me that I don't like these ignorant games. I'd much rather be truthful. Being truthful opens a door for actually resolving the problem. Flinging stupid accusations only alienates the other person and makes resolution impossible. I don't know, but this is a big thing for me. NO BULLSHIT GAMES. I hate them.
A Woman Alone
Tuesday, Apr. 27, 2004
6:32 p.m.
New Dream called Game Show.
A Woman Alone
Monday, Apr. 26, 2004
11:42 a.m.
I don't know why it is that since I have had a few good days, I haven't had a single comment or e-mail from anyone here. Do you all only like me when I'm miserable?? Sorry to disappoint you.You'll be happy to know that I no longer have any energy or enough determination to do the things I plan and want to do in a day. Furthermore, I'm rather horny and seriously want a nice strong man to hold and cuddle with.
A Woman Alone
Friday, Apr. 23, 2004
9:28 p.m.
Today I'm just very very tired. Didn't sleep well last night despite being exhausted. My feet are swollen and sore because they're covered in ant bites from when I washed the car the other day. (red ants run rampant in Louisiana) I am also covered with mosquito bites. I went and volunteered to run a msn group for someone and so I've spent today messing with that, and now have a serious headache. I have a few things left to do for the car, requiring a little more reading, and a trip to the store first. The yard is all caught up as far as mowing, of course it will need to be redone every freaking week now until September. I'm going to plant some flowers and work on my flower beds pretty soon here. I want to kill the ants, and it will work better after a rain, and it's supposed to rain this weekend, so I'm hoping. After that I'll work on the flowers. I already did the poison once, but with the ground so dry, it doesn't absorb very well, and the ants are all hiding out underground due to the dryness. Today is "take it easy" day. I will try to get the pile of dishes washed and some dinner cooked. Tomorrow, I don't know yet. I need to read before buying all I need for the car, and I don't know if I'll get that done tonight or not. But I can get a couple of things, and I can pick up my medicine, and if I feel real good, I can get some of those genealogy requests done. Oh, and the lawn mower, after all my drawn out attentions, is running like a champ.
A Woman Alone
Wednesday, Apr. 21, 2004
4:54 p.m.
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