Have you ever been too tired to hold your own head up? That's hwo I've been feeling. Even after housr and hours of off and on sleep since last ngiht, I still am so exhausted.
A Woman Alone
Thursday, Aug. 19, 2004
3:30 p.m.
Last night I finally went to wal mart at night. I went around 11pm. I didn't get all the stuff on my list, always a very long list since I hardly ever go there. But it's a long drive and going less often saves money, although I should go more often than I do. But anyway...I went and got some stuff and now I have some fresh food for at least a week. Yay! Earlier in the evening I had mowed a part of the yard. I woke up at 2:30 this afternoon, later than ever! But I don't feel as bad as usual about it since I actually accomplished some things last night. So my problem with my sleep schedule isn't the TIME but the fact that it stops me from doing things. There are lots of things you HAVE to do in the daytime because that's when the businesses are open! I knew that, but didn't realize that just the fact that I did something useful last night would make me feel better when I woke up today. I guess every day when I get up I check the clock and every day am disappointed in myself for the freaking time.
A Woman Alone
Thursday, Aug. 12, 2004
4:45 p.m.
I was just remembering that I used to play with myself before kindergarten, in preschool. It felt good so I did it.I have always been horny and liked sex. Even when very depressed, I want sex. Sexual desire is one thing depression supposedly takes away, but it never took away mine. I remember my sister, when she got her period for the first time, couldn't figure out where to put the tampon. It was a big deal around our house, I was asked to show her- which I did not. But how can you not know where to put it? It makes me think she didn't want to touch herself, not even for a perfectly good reason. Now, she tells me she's not terribly interested in sex. Could live fine without it. I hear this more about women than from women, but have also heard it from women. Most women I've ever discussed the subject with have said they liked sex. So I have a theory that while of course our experiences affect our sexual desire, I think we're born with a certain level of desire. Why else would a four year old be playing with herself?? I'd like to know what you all think about it. Women particularly. Do you like sex and do you remember knowing early that touching certain places felt really good? Do you see a correlation between early discovery and later desire in yourself?
Please reply in the forum, I'm curious or I wouldn't have put this on here!
A Woman Alone
Wednesday, Aug. 11, 2004
9:07 p.m.
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